Coding

journey (char , char , char )
{

int read;
FILE *ptr;
ptr = fopen ("joke.png");
while (( read=fgetc(ptr)) !=EOF)
{
printf("%c",read);
}
fclose(ptr);

}
main()
{
int her;
for (her = 1; her > 1; her++)
{

if ( her == 0x2c)
break;
else
journey(life,universe,everything);

}
printf("Are you sure?\n");
}

crap ...

Reverie

when did we forget our dreams? ....

the infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind ... the sheer number of experiences i could have is uncountable ... breathtaking ... and im sitting here refreshing my inbox ... we live trapped in loops .... reliving a few days over and over ... and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us ... we see the same things each day ... we respond the same way ... we think the same thoughts ... each day a slight variation of the last ... every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of society norms ... we act like we just get through today... tommorrow our dreams will come back to us ....

and no ... i dont have all the answer ... i dont know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become ... but i do know one thing ... the solution doesnt involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold ... it doesnt involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations ... it doesnt involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking thing up ...

this is very important ... so i want to say it clearly as i can ...

FUCK ... THAT ... SHIT ...

Random

Some random thought.....

• watching Ip man make you wanna go berserk against everyone who gave you a weird look..
• life is full of surprises, but never when you need one..
• i like it better when i`m unmotivated and i don`t care..
• this act of rebellion would be meaningful to me if you stop supporting it wholeheartedly...
• there is no problem so awful that you cant add some guilt to it and make it even worse...
• life is lot easier if i keep my expectation low...
• yes, it does take away 7 minutes of my life... i am not a slave to it.... its actually the other way around.... when im smoking, i own that cigarette.... and that isnt really a bad place to be in...
• why my phone always restarting when im in melaka?..
• always thought that 50 miss call is annoying ... but it actually mean that people do care for you ... although their ranting and scolding is not exactly fun....
• some malay song does evolve quite nice..
• every little thing that i do ... i know someday will have a great effect in my life ....like a chaos theory....
• randomness is not really random at all .... it always have it own unique pattern....
• dont know when the feeling will sink .... try to speed up the process by manipulating the environment.... waiting for the worse ... but everything are a little bit slow ....
• 2 days trip to the south was above average .... it will get better if the waitress at eleven give me at least 2 more shot of sambuca...
• having tea in zheng he house was so serene and peaceful .....
• always have a plan C because plan A and plan B will not always work .... believe me on this ...
• if you think there will be a possible 2 choice .... think against ....
• if you have to make a decision make sure you have what its take ... or dont make any
• real time decision it not perfect.... it always have flaw...
  
• have a dialog with yourself once a while because the voice know what you really want ...
• second opinion or third opinion it just another opinion .... you know the answer before you heard their opinion...
• 786 is a cool slang word ....
• sometime im tired of playing stupid...
• 200 kg = your mum.... 220 kg = your mum include cheap jewelry... 224 kg = your mum include cheap jewelry plus makeup .....
• starting WIFI autoconfiq ... searching for WIFI.... found no open networks ... found secure net SSID "cool_chick_network"...trying common password ... failed... checking for WEP vulnerabilities... none found ... connecting to bluetooth phone... calling local network... found cool_chick_friend... notifying field agent .. friend aquired ..calling cool_chicks... negotiating for WIFI password... fuck ... fuck ...CTRL-C.... CTRL-C....
• maybe it to early for jokes huh....
• some night typing "hug" just doesnt cut it...
• when you start to understand ... to figure it out ... to feel the meaning ... when the tears start to fall... then the dj change the song ... WTF!!!!1111oneone1111!!!!.... crap duh ....hahahhaha....
• sometime i wonder what if my blood level is .25 ...
  
• new year celebration was so awesome .....
• i wonder .... i could spend 100 bucks on guitar or i could buy 5 shot of jager bomb and play the air guitar...
• prev->next=toDelete->delete->next; delete toDelete; //if only forgetting were this easy for me .... haihhhh ... sniff ...... assert" it going to be okay ";
• still to early for jokes .....damn....
• the phrase " abang gedeng apa barang" still playing in my head...
• on subject of abang gedeng .... feel like one when i wear those shirt from animal .... warghhhhhhh ...
• am i narcissist.. full of my self ... proud of my fault ... stubborn ... opinionated ... see others as weak .... ignorant ....inferior ..... ??? ... maybe i am....
• sometime people ask me a question that i dont have the time to ask me yet.....
• wish that wise men told me a lie ....
• hope that i can live a life like python ... everything is so simple ... where Hello World is just ... print "Hello World" ... to overcome stress just typed .... import antistress .... to having fun just typed ....import fun
• maybe life is a pursuit of unatainable perfection ... maybe is imposibble to create something bug free or idiot proof .... maybe im a fool ... maybe the tyranny of murphy law is a penalty of hubris ....
• you can be mad in the morning or the afternoon instead .... but you choose not to .... damn ...
• one hand on the trigger of the telephone.... wonderin when the call comes... when you say its all right.... haahahahaha
• to start a new life ... do you have to let go the old one?.....
• qilin or chilin .... yeah ... nice word though ....
• playing cool consume a lot man ....
• where to find neil gaiman novel?.......
• communication is so important yet so highly overrated....
• hope it about time the for jokes.....
  

Veisalgia

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible....

i was at this bar right.... trying to have some fun while it still open .... all the normal stuff ... get wasted ... have some buzz ... couple of fight ... get rejected... you know thing people do before the bar is closed .... then out of nowhere something attract me ... something exquisite ... stunning ... ravishing ..... i try to analyse it from far ... try to get a glimpse what it look like ... got intimated at first ... the voice inside my head tell me it just a temporary .... a cache .... volatile ... but im drawn to this ... so i get closer ... to figure it out what is this thing .... it spell Absinthe ..... damnnnn .... it something that ive been looking for .... i was on seven heaven .... i was elated .... i find something that i need ... something that suited me ... it perfect like a glove .... but i got this mixed feeling .... there is no turning back if i take this Absinthe .... the after effect is devastating .... either it give me euphoria or catastrophic feeling ....haihhhhhhhhh ... so i wait ... make some reaserch about this Absinthe ... try to find more ... the more i wait the more i want it .... it killing me .... im start to do stupid thing .... hold the bottle .... see it from a different view ....read the content like it was a text book ... those kind of thing .... i also get envious when other people have it .... it stress me out ... after a while ... cant stand it anymore .... made my desicion .... i prepared for the worst case scenario and stuff .... i set my expectation low .... taking my own advise... i got a taste of Absinthe ... it was good ... it better that good .... i feel free ... i feel relieved .... after all the waiting ... but it last for a second .... because there a twist .... im too ready for the worst case .... i got blitz from other scenario .... something that im not prepare .... something anomaly .... something out of ordinary ... something that only a cool drink can gave you ... im dazed ... dont know how to deal with this feeling ... not sure what the next step ..... either left it there and never coming back .... untill time tell ... or be cool about it .... the problem with the latter, what if i crave for another taste .... what if im addicted to it .... aint it back to the beginning? .... crap.... still doesnt have an answer for that .... can i live in denial? ... am i cool enough? ... questions I know the answers to I don't need to ask, right?.... haihhhhhhhhhhh....

i dont know what the next step .... i dont know what the future might hold ... maybe tomorrow wasnt really something to think about.... and let fate decide it otherwise .... whatever happen im glad i taste this Absinthe ... im grateful that i made this mistake ... i have no regret .... it a beautiful mistake ... it a great ride ... although it a shame it have to stop ... but im happy that i get a taste before the bar is close ... i like to think that i made something right after all those fucked up thing ive done since the the bar is open ... still have the hangover to prove it ....whatever happen after this, only one thing im sure of .... Absinthe will always be my constant.... it may sound pathetic ...it may sound ridiculous... but a night like this it not something you can forget.... it gonna live with you through out your life..... six number one more to dial............

what the word for feeling guilty, relieved, proud and obsolete all at the same time

I'd like that

when you first meet somebody.. you find out they like you.. first of all.. a friend of a friend of theirs say.. he or she really really likes you.. and it kills you.. floors you.. sends you to the ground.. you have got to pick yourself up off the ground.. then you get their phone number and you call them up.. right.. and you say "yeah.. that's a really great phone conversation.. can i see you some time?"... and then they say this.. they say.. "i'd like that"... nothing feels better than "i'd like that"... so now... your blood pressures goin.. you are six feet off the ground.. you cant sleep.. because of "i'd like that".. so then you hang out for a while.. and you call and you talk on the phone all the time.. and then you drop the bomb... what feels like the bomb, you say.. "you know what, ive been thinkin about you a lot".. and she goes.. "ahhhhhhh!"... and you go "what happened?" and she goes.. "im sorry, i just, i just, i just, that's, ive been thinking about you too"... bam... higher into the sky.... but now "i'd like that"... tch... done.... now you are up to "im thinkin about you"... then however number of months pass... it makes you feel comfortable saying it.. you say "i gotta tell you something"... they go "what?"... you go "im in love with you".. And nothing in the world sounds better than "im in love with you"... and then maybe she starts crying.. or maybe he goes "*gasp*"... and all the sudden you're like "im in".. but now what doesn't work?.. "i'd like that".. and "ive been thinkin about you".. now we're at "im in love with you".. then maybe some day it'll move up to "i love you"... fast forward... now you're like "i love you a lot.. i love you more than anything in life"... now "i love you" doesn't work... its a threshold that keeps movin up... fast forward, like six months, six weeks, whatever the case may be.. now you're on like, "i want to marry you".. "i want to impregnate you with my love".. "i wanna, i wanna just send my love to you"... "damn it, words don't work anymore".. and then you say this line, and you know, you know you've used this line before.. "i just wish they'd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love because love just doesn't describe what i feel".. and so now he or she starts askin.. "do you love me?" and you start goin.. "of course I love you".. "well say it".. and then it becomes "say it twice".. and it goes "say it three times".. and then, you cross a really interesting point.. where all the sudden it becomes "i hate you, i hate you".. and you go, "oh my god she hates me".. and now it's like "i hate you more than anything".. and then it's like "we're over".. and then they go "no we're not".. and you go "yes we are".. now the words completely do not work at all.. you are left with nothing.. you are throwing punches under water.. you are done.. you know what the moral of that story is.. if there is one... never, ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of "i'd like that"...yeah ... who am i kidding....

Friends

what the real definition?...
mine ... is just a couple people you comfortable with...
to learn it from other ...
open my mind a little bit ...
but im still a misanthrope....
it doesnt not change much ...
well, I do things you know....
stupid, illogical, inefficient things, humans, get use to it......
all of us wear masks...
they can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us....
to spare them from the complicated reality of our frayed psyches.....
we trade honesty for companionship....
and in the process never truly know the hearts closest to us.....

i wish i had more friends...but people are such jerks....
if you can just get most people to leave you alone.... you are doing good.....
if you can find even one person you really like.... you are lucky....
and if that person can also stand you.... you are really lucky...
what if you find someone you can talk to while you smoke cigarette on a bright sunday morning?....
well, yeah...
i suppose there's no point in getting greedy, is there?....
am i at peace with myself?....
am i still under scotoma influences?....
are my dopamine in my caudate nucleus is low?...

to say it out loud that i hate this word ..... it something .........

New Year

what i think bout new year....

excuse to get wasted....
excuse to do stupid thing....
resolutions?... ME??....
just what are you implying?....
that i need to change??.....
well...
fuckface....
as far as im concerned....
im perfect the way i am!....
for your information....
im staying like this....
and everyone else can just get used to it!....
If people dont like me the way i am....
well.....
i gave you jari hantu!....
Its a free country!.....
i dont need anyone's permission to be the way i want!.....
this is how i am....
take it or leave it!.....
damnnn.....
life's too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how i ought to be!.....
i dont need advice!.....
everyone can just stay out of my face!....

to those people that im comfortable with .... dont fucking change .... i like the way you are .... but a litle tweak here and there would be nice ....
happy fucking new year .... may your wish do come true .....

Evil Daemon

They said that once u got there ....
u have respect..
u have power...
u feel fresh...
u are special...
u are omnipotent....
some might say it feel like god....

but...
i dont feel all those .......
damnnnnnnn....

maybe it's all part of big ineffable plan....
all of it...
you, me, him everything.....

or...
i dont belong there....
i underestimated it....
i thought it just a great cosmic game of chess .....
actually it just a very complicated solitaire....

and dont bother to answer it....
if we dont understand .....
we wouldnt be there....

There never was an apple.....
that wasnt worth the trouble you got into for eating it.....

Haih........

Suit

hate is an irreducible feeling that is not definable at all.....

banyak bende yg menyebabkan aku benci // benci adelah satu perkataan yg kuat sangat maksud nya .... so aku tukar jadi meluat ... aku meluat bila orng tu mengada ngada2 ....perasan die cute abis la belagak blur ... anjing .... tu bukan cute ... tu bodo .... dah berapa kali aku tulis di dlm blog nie .... di mana aku alergic dengan orng bodoh nie ... setengah orng alergic ngan seafood, habuk, ayam tapi aku alergic ngan stupid people .... aku cuba juga untuk hindari specis nie ... tapi kadang2 aku tertipu juga .... berbalik pada topik meluat ... aku meluat bila orng asyik tanya aku soalan yg obvious dah ade jawapan die ... tak pun usaha skit je lagi dpt jawapan die .... ni same kes ngan bagitau kat aku bende yg aku dah tahu .... mcm la aku tak nampak bende tu .... tolong la jgn insult intelligence aku bleh tak .... come on la tell me something that i dont know.... aku meluat bila orng tu cuba jadi stereotype ... contoh kalau lelaki mesti tau pasai keta, mesti tengok bola .... tolong lah cuba jadi individu bleh tak .... jadi diri sendiri .... kalau ko lelaki tapi ko tak suka keta ... takpa... it nothing wrong with that ... aku menyampah bila ade orng perasan die tu better dari orng lain dari segi agama .... ape yg die cuba buat ialah sound orng lain yg jahil skit dari die .... die tak tau bila die dah ade perasaan riak yg die rase die bagus sangat tu dah berdosa .... cara die sound orng pun tak berapa btui ... ade hati nak perbetulkan orng .... bagus mengingat kan orng lain pasal agama ... tapi ade care nya ... cara yg beradap, bersopan santun .... agama takde suruh hang pi sound orng camtu ja ... lepas tu yg perasan bagus sangat nie follow semua bende yg in thing skrg... ikut semua bende dlm tv tu .. tak ke "God is in the tv" ... ko pergi ikut ape artis tu buat ... ape iklan tu suruh ... tolong la fikir skit boleh tak ... aku benci bila orng tu tak mau kata no ... walaupun die kena gak kata no ... tapi sebab die nak jaga hati orng lain, jaga status, jaga serba serbi ... die sanggup kata kan yes jugak ... ye jaga hati orng tu bagus .... tapi fikirkan pasal diri sendiri jugak ...tak yah la pasal orng lain ... u dont live ur life .... semua orng dah besar ... dah boleh fikir ... diorang sepatutnya faham .... kalau diorang tak faham sama ade diorang tu stupid tak pun ignorant .... aku meluat bila orng tak reti differentiate between serius and lawak .... tengok la body languages orng tu bila bercakap ... nie main assumption je .... aku love/hate bila orng tu cunning/slick/smart kerana aku tak bleh nak confirm sama ada die tau/buat2 tak tau/tak tau pasal sesuatu bende ... adakah die suka bermain this kind of game? .... adakah die mau outwit, outsmart and outlast aku? .... adakah dia ignorant/stupid?.... adakah mcm2 lagi..... yg membuat aku interest bila die lebih pandai dari aku .... tapi membuat aku lost interest bila die tak tau apa2....

sial la aku nak tulis pasal bende lain .... boleh tulis pasai bende nie pulak ... damn the devil to hell

Luahan Hati 1

REMINDER

For entertainment only. Tiada kaitan diantara yg hidup atau pun yg mati..

Setelah 12 hari menghilangkan diri dari dunia seni blogging, Lelaki Awesome kembali dengan entry terbarunya untuk menjawab segala pertanyaan tentang gossip gossip liar yang tersebar melalui internet.

Kenapa baru sekarang Lelaki Awesome kembali ke dunia blogging?

Sebenarnya saya mengambil keputusan untuk berehat seketika di rahsia selama dua belas hari untuk menenangkan fikiran. Saya juga ingin menjauhkan diri daripada segala perkara negatif yang menghantui diri selama ini. Sekarang saya kembali setelah muncul gossip2 panas di internet dan untuk membetulkan perkara sebenar yang terjadi.

Siapa yang Lelaki Awesome maksudkan?

Tak perlulah saya nyatakan siapa orangnya, cukuplah kalau saya bagi url blog mereka,sini dan sini . Paling menyedihkan, mereka orang yang rapat dengan saya sendiri. Apalah dosa saya kepada mereka? Saya tak pernah kacau orang, apatah lagi segala yang saya lakukan tidak melibatkan sesiapa pun. Jika saya buat salah, saya tanggung sendiri.

Setelah pulang dari berehat, adakah Lelaki Awesome kembali tenang?

Sebenarnya tidaklah sangat, kerana walaupun saya jarang melepak, saya tetap mendapat pelbagai cerita yang tidak mahu didengar. Saya ingatkan apabila jauh dari sini, saya akan dapat ketenangan yang saya inginkan. Sebaliknya, saya tetap dihujani tuduhan yang tidak henti-henti. Apa yang mereka dapat dengan berbuat sedemikian?

Kenapa agaknya Lelaki Awesome selalu menerima nasib sebegini?

Saya pun tidak faham mengapa saya sering menjadi sasaran. Padahal, saya juga menjalani kehidupan sama seperti orang lain. Saya masih ada masa untuk keluarga dan kawan-kawan. Salahkah saya menghabiskan masa dengan kawan-kawan seperti orang lain?

Lelaki Awesome sering dilabel sebagai The Mann. Betulkah?

Kalau mereka benar-benar mengenali saya, tolong jawab bila kali terakhir saya The Mann? Kadang-kadang, mereka ini langsung tidak saya kenali, apatah lagi mereka yang tidak mengenali secara mendalam siapakah Lelaki Awesome yang sebenar. Kenalilah Lelaki Awesome sebelum mengata yang bukan-bukan.

Apa pesanan Lelaki Awesome untuk mereka yang berperangai seperti ini?
World peace

Ghost in a Shell

imaginary friends.....
freak duh .....
it happen to children not adult ....
internal monologue is more suitable explanation....
it also involve in introspection ...
with a foundation of self-awareness....
to find the self-consciousness ...
in order to understand the consciousness....
and being control by conscience....
with the language of thought and a philosophy of mind ....
will lead to free will and self ....

this sine qua non to some.....

Little thing

happiness come in a mysterious way ...
although your life fucked up both way you need some thing that can take your mind away...
even for a second ....
dont want to complicated thing.....
it come in a simple thing ....
happiness is like chocolate ...
you eat, then you are happy for a few second ...
because it contain unsaturated N-acylethanolamines which might activate cannabinoid receptors or increase endocannabinoid levels resulting in heightened sensitivity and euphoria....
it also contain phenethylamine, and endogenous alkaloid....//freak duh
how simple and frugal a thing is happiness: a glass of wine, a home meal, a nice chat during dinner, a book or two or a whole box, a tv with astro, a call to say hi, an invitation to a lunch/dinner, a small talk over the instant msg, a post on a blog, a visit from family, a laptop to borrow, a clean house, a. . . .
all that is required to feel that here and now is happiness is a simple, frugal heart.....
albeit it only took a second, minute or hour a day ....
but still by default it is a happiness....


To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Awesome Guy

ixfn brx

duh brx wkhuh, duh brx wkhuh, duh brx ixfnlqj dqbzkhuh? duh brx dq dqjho qrz? ixfn brx!!!

Noble

reminder
this is emo stuff .... im pmsing right know ... lot of ranting and bitching .... read with coutions

There a lot of thing that i need to talk about ....
but it seem there is no particular person to talk to that seem to make it right ....
warghhhhh .... need to sort this trust issues sometime .... fuck it ...
im not sure if the enviroment play a part ... or it just phase that all of us going through once in ur life.... or it just me getting old .... or it just a normal thing that i never care or notice before ....
i think about it a lot which take the toll of time of my own ... but looking back what im writing before it occur to me ... i do have to much time ... but never doing nothing with it .... except all the useless stuff.... hahahaha ... or this is a part where i start to grow up .... being mature .... act like people from my age ..... dammmnnnn ..... tired .... it the word im looking for .... but not exactly the right word .....

"you never solve ur problem, always run for it.. from the tiny one to the big problem all of it snowball and blow it up in ur face.and what u do after it .... u just smile and say that was good shit ... that ur problem" ...... said this girl .... she a "friend" of mine ..... we know each other for the past 10 years.... fuck her ... dont state the obvious ... i know that shit ... tell me something idont know .... yeah .... that will solve something .....

responsibility ....
that the word if scared of .... cause never good with it .... always try not to care bout it ... not everthing revolve around that word ... which make me sick .... never in my life im thinking about the right path or the wrong path ..... because to me the is no right/wrong path .... it just a choice that u make .... it how you intepret the path .... alll people make mistake .... it just a normal thing to do .... so what this fuss about chosing the right/wrong path ... it my life for god sake ... it does mean that it my desicion right? ... always tell myself it just another opinion..... u make ur own path ... ur own decision ..... fuck u who give me doubt abou t how i live my life .... you low life scumbag .....

i reread what im writing just now make me wanna slap me, hit me on crotch, broke my tooth and make me drink my own blood... all this are just another bump in the road .... dont be a pussy ranting and bitching bout ur life ...... while other people suffer more than u ..... or it just another desperate attempt to get epople attention ..... fuck you .... you attention whore .... mekeke...

what i need is someone who sane enuff to give me some cool opinon or someone who brave enuff to knock up some sense in this shitty thing call brain of mine .... the consequenses are only 2 ... if im open my mouth one of two things happens.... either forgives me or leaves me..... but everthing change ..... at best, i wind up exactly where i am right now, but it depend on the enviroment also .... it noble to want to confess..... really, it is..... but if the result just damage and pain, that's not noble, that's selfish...... im fucked....

what an entry that was ... gile fucking em .... shit fuck gile .... omgwtfbbq ....mekeke. .... to much time and not a thing to do .... to yg jadi camni nie .... atau to much sidney sheldon and jeffery archer ..... arghhhhhh... hahahahaha.....

// this post it just for entertainment only .... no human or animal were harm in the process of this entry just a few bantal and glasses.... dont take this post to serius ....it just another day of pmsing
// stressssssssssssssssss
//enjoy
// fuck i need a psychaterist ASAP ....

Jiwa kacau

i know this thing exist
i thought this thing overrated
i never knew the different between this thing and that thing which look similar but not
i believe this thing happen to to everyone
i know this thing have a lot of definition
i notice most of us searching for it
i realize some of us try to ignore it
i never thought the effect of this thing is insane
i notice this thing will make u do thing u never do and most of it are stupid thing
i aint regret if i fall for this thing
i not sure if this thing happen to me or that thing
i sure if i pursue this thing, thing do change
i hope someday i find this thing
i hope i'll have the patient to wait for this thing happend naturally
i want this thing so bad but im afraid people do get hurt

im fucked

Dream is mimpi

is it normal when everytime you go to sleep u have a dream?

dan aku maksud kan setiap kali .... walaupun lu terjaga jap ...pas tu sambung tido balik ... mimpi balik.... sometime mimpi tu bersambung sambung .... cam mini series .... kadang2 lu mimpi bende yg same... in rare ocasion lu mimpi bende yg pelik gile babi ..... adakah korang ingat mimpi korang lepas bangun tido ? .... i try to remember everthing .... tapi cam biase la tak leh .... one of the functional hypotheses yg aku suka ...

Theory of "Oneiric Darwinism."
Dreams create new ideas through the generation of random thought mutations. Some of these may be rejected by the mind as useless, while others may be seen as valuable and retained.

satu laigi theory yg aku suka dan sometime bagi aku explaination about something is the concept of deja vu..... since aku banyak cam rase/namapak thing yg aku rase aku dah buat sblm nie .... so aku amik theory nie sebagai solution untuk problem tu ..... sick duh ......

walaupun takde the true expalination pasai dream nie .... aku amik die sebagai entertaiment .... and sometime a "what if solution" .....

hangpa mimpi dlm black & white ka dlm color ?

// link article dan jawapan untuk soalan ada kat sini

Blister

semalam aku tak pergi kerja .... sebab aku malas ..... dlm pukul 12 lebih makcik aku dtg ... so aku pun kena bangun la ... lepas kena bebel sebakul dua pasai tak kemas rumah .... makcik aku bagitau aku yg die a de cancer .... fuck gile .... tapi tu cite lain kali la .... malas aku nak cite pasai tu ... aku nak cite bende lain .... lepas tu aku pun call dulu kurus // bukan nama sebenar ... ajak pi lunch .... lepas lunch kita orng kena pi amik adik dulu kurus kat office die ..... lepas amik raja tidoq // bukan name sebenar .... kami pun nak balik la ..... dalam keta si dulu kurus tanya kat aku lelaki awesome // bukan nama sebenar ... jadi tak malam nie pi tengok performance kawan lelaki awesome kat laundry? ... aku cakap jadi pi .... lepaih tu si raja tidoq trus pi call kawan2 die ajak pi skali .... pehtu aku pi lepak rumah depa nie ... pasai aku malas nak balik rumah ..... performance dlm pukui 9 mlm start .... bila dah sampai rumah depa nie .... aku duk melayan tv ... aku perak gile pasai dah lama tak tengok tv ... // tv rumah aku rosak , sapa baik hati tolong la hadiah kan tv kan aku satu ..... mekeke ...... dah samapi rumah depa raja tidoq pun buat la aktiviti yg die suka skali ..... cuba teka apa? ... hint ... same ngan nama die ...ahhaahah.... tinggal la aku dengan dulu kurus melayan tv sambil tunggu kawan depa nie balik.... dlm pukul 9 kawan aku call cakap depa dah nak perform dah .... si orang gila // bukan nama sebenar baru je balik .... yg raja tidoq still lagi tidoq... orang gila duk tanya nak pergi ka dak tapi die masih lagi duk main ngan kucing die ...depa semua tak bersiap lagi ..... pehtu dulu kurus kata kat aku lelaki awesome yg kalau aku nak pergi dulu die bleh hantar... aku pun agree dengan suggestion dia ...kalau nak tunggu depa nie siap mau dekat sejam lagi .... so dulu kurus hantar aku pi laundry .... tapi sebelum aku turn keta aku bagitau kat die ... kalau nak mai nanti call tak pun kalau tak mai nak pi makan ka call ... lagipun aku tak tau camna nak balik sat gi ... so die pun kata ok .... sampai kat laundry member dah tengah perform ... dah main 3 lagu ....nasib baik la depa main 8 lagu ... sempat la aku dengar semua .... die nye band ok la ... takde la crap sangat .... lagu sendiri kira ok ... tapi die nye cover belh pergi gak ..... yg tak tahan pi main lagu jimi hendrix little wing ... member aku nie siap berdiri atas speaker nak goreng sambil tayang gitar gibson baru die yg pukimak mahal nak mampus .... lepas abis band die perform aku pun lepak la ngan mamat nie dengan beberapa member die yg aku tak kenai ... tapi mlm tadi aku nye hipokrit mode melampau so aku bleh lepak gila babi ngan diorang .... lepaih tu ade band budak2 perform .... gile gempak tak ingat .... abis rockstar duh .... atitude gile baik the man ... aku ngan kawan2 baru aku nie bleh pi depan stage nak tengok depa perform ... serius terbaik ... goreng pakai violin punya pengosok tu ... aku tak tau name die apa.... gila best tak ingat .... terase muda remaja balik ....ahhahahaa. .... lupa nak bagitau ... yg kawan baru aku tu semua umur aku .... semua dah jadi budak2 balik .... sampai la abis diorang perform baru la kitaorng lepak kat meja balik .... aku tengok jam dah dekat pukui 12 ..... confirm la depa nie tak dtg... aku pun nak kena balik .... kawan2 baru aku dah nak balik semua pasai depa ade kerja esok nya ..... so aku pun msg la si dulu kurus nie mintak favor suruh amik aku .... setelah 15 minutes tak berbalas .... aku pun call die ... coisssssssss masuk voice mail ....damn gile ... aku call beberapa kali .... tapi still sama ...aku dah gundah gelana .... macam mana nak balik rumah nie ..... aku pun pi cari teksi .... haram satu pun tak dak .... cuak dah nie ... camna nak balik .... aku pun mencuba nasib pi call raja tidoq ... walaupun aku tahu harapan aku tipis ...tapi aku still mencuba .... mana la tau die terbangun ka .... tapi aku dpt peti suara nye saja .... aku masih mencari teksi sambil membuat panggilan terakhir kepada dulu kurus .... semua benda tak jadi ...teksi tak dak .... dan aku dpt peti suara buat sekian kali nya .... so aku pun nekad .... aku kena balik rumah jugak ... solution die adelah jalan kaki .... fuck gile .... korang bayang kan lah .... late 20s man + midnight + hitam + drunk+ terhoyong hayang+ 30 minutes of walking ...... horror beb .... walaupun aku semput .... time2 nie la nak jadi ... nasib baik aku bawak inhaler ... walaupun aku tak larat ... perut aku besar duh .... walaupun aku muntah di tepi jalan ..... akhirnya aku sampai di rumah ....

itulah cerita yg aku nak sampai kan .... moral cita nie .... jangan seronok sangat sampai terlupa camne nak balik ....

//jgn la emo sebab aku guna nickname .... gila tak Fun duh kalau emo ....
//happy friday ....

List 2

aku takde bende nak post .... kalau ade pun cam depress je ... so menyampah plak aku nak post menatang tu ... so aku buat second list pasai lagu ....

top10beaches top 10 list of songs that remind me of a certain event .....

10: "California Dreamin' " - The Mamas & The Papas.
7 org + 1 unplanned vacation+ 5 days + JPA allowance = w00000000t !!!11111!!!!111!11shiftone1!11shift1!!1111capslock1! ... tiap2 ari dengar lagu nie pasal die pasang kat kedai yg kitaorng pergi makan ....

9: "Angel" - Sarah Mclachlan.
walaupun lagu nie pasai orng mati overdose heroin ... tapi bila gua dengar lagu nie ...cam die kasi insaf skit ... kasi fikir pasai hala tuju life gua... kasi lu semangat ... kasi lu pikir lu takde la crap sangat.... crap

8: "Angel of The Moon" - Thriving Ivory.
lagu ni ingatkan aku kat PORN ... CFF 7 ke 8 tak sure la yg mane satu .... ade satu scene nie time die tengah interview sorang minah yg tengah mabuk gile babi sambil nyanyi lagu nie tanpa tersalah lirik which is quite awesome .... pehtu band nie tengah perfom lagu nie kat background ... i know people watch PORN not for the music but do try to listen more maybe u'll find something.... mekeke...//CFF (College Fuck Fest)

7: "Taste of Ink" - The Used.
this song remind me of how desperate i have to get out of MMU and Melaka... gua kena buat something yg dah lame tak buat = Belajar .... suck duh life time tu .....

6: "Picture of My Life" - Jamiroquai
dengar je lagu nie teringat time zaman fucked up kat melaka... u dont do anything to attend the matter but let it snowball untill it blow up in ur face .... goodtime ..... hehehehe

5: "Blues at Sunrise" - BB King.
7 ari kat redang ... alone .... beach ... sea ... bar ... sunrise ... sunset... good music ... perghhhhhh... the best time of my life ....

4 "Little Wing" - Jimi Hendrix.
this song remind me the first 4 years kat mmu duh .... time nie best la ... Loney Planet... Rock and Rock Grill ... Chelsea ... Jonker ..... time nie masih muda remaja lagi ... perut masih boleh pergi lagi ....

3: "Let's Get It On" - Jack Black
moi .. 2 chicks ... and 1 hell of strip show ... that all i can say .... huba huba

2: "I Believe I Can Fly" - R. Kelly
lagu nie teringat time2 aku masih ade niat suci ... hati aku time nie bersih putih melepak ... time nie tengah ade dream nak tolong orng ... blum corrupt lagi .... tapi akhir nya ......... haih

1: "Antichrist Superstar" - Marilyn Manson.
this song change me to be me ...... damn you manson ....

songs that worth mention:
"Boo Hoo Clapping Song" - Carburetor Dung // lagu time naik bas nak pi rombongan/tournament mesti nyanyi lagu ni ... pastu lagu nie default song bebudak jamming ...

"Northen Star" - Hole //band bebudak rumah aku try nak main hole nye album "Celebrity Skin" so diorang start practice la kat rumah ... lagu nie la paling susah nak nyanyi ... menjerit2 tapi still tak jadi....

"Gravity / Man On the Side" - John Mayer // soundtrack life gua skrng ....

"Paint It Black" - Rolling Stone - // time kecik2 lagu nie theme song "Nam Tour of Duty" .... layan duh cite nie ....

"I Cant Stop Loving You" - Van Halen // first break up song ...

"People = Shit" - Slipknot // nak masuk programming mode (bunyi tranformer bertukar)... time tengah kelam kabut buat coding ... tak nak kasi tido ... nak kasi segar ... pastu nak dpt idea ...dengar lagu nie la

"Monster" - Ari Hest // lagu time buat FYP ....

Tell me what yours? .... up yours la .... mekeke ...

List

top10beaches top 10 list artis malaysia yg musik die buleh pergi// base on my opinion

10: Black Rose ...// suara ajin dlm lagu penantian the man beb .... band lame nie .... time gua budak2 nie ... ajin pun dah tua dah umur dah masuk 40 lebih ... lagu ni karaoke layan nie beb...

9: Aris Ariwatan ..... // sedih beb lagu die ... tangkap leleh .... hahaha ... lamunan terhenti, cinta tak kenal siapa.... perghhhhhh.... suara die agak the man gak la...

8: Gigi... //gua tahu diorang bukan artist malaysia ... tapi gua nak letak gak beb..... sedap duh suara penyanyi die ... pastu pemain gitar die gempak beb .... main jazz beb ....nie jelah band indon yg gua bleh dengar.... lu kena dengar lagu "Selamat Datang Asmara" .... gile the man ... tak tido malam punye ...

7: Ning Baizura... // the only awek dlm list nie.... suara die tak bleh tahan beb ... gua suka minah nie since "Curiga" lagi .... plus die nye interview dlm FHM ..... huba huba...

6: 4U2C... // wasssssssssssupp!!!1111111... mekeke ..... "Fiona" .... enuff said

5: Langsuir.... //"Occultus Mysticism" gile gempak EP band nie.... black metal dude .... BUARGH.... hehehe .... black metal malaysia yg hebat ..... pastu name guitarist die plak Batara Guru Masbir Rabka .... gile ganas beb ....

4: Gersang ... // Man Bai, Man Greng, Acis, Jojet .... gile tangkap lentok band nie .... suara Man Bai sumpah sedap beb ..... "Masih Aku Terasa" cut me deep lagu nie .... jiwang beb ..... mekeke

3: Wing .... // Band paling legend kat Malaysia .... tapi gua suka band nie sampai album "Bazooka Penaka" je beb ... pastu si Awie buat palat ... nak jadi solo artist la plak ... ptui!!.... time nie la diorang nie idola .... gua simpan rambut panjang ... cuba2 nak ade goatee ... try nak main guitar tangan kiri semua pasal nak tiru Joe wing beb ... legend duh mamat tu ....

2: Teacher's Pet ..... // Sape tak tahu lagu "Warisan Wanita Terakhir" .... time nie semua pompuan nak jadi pompuan dlm pagu tu .... pastu semua laki nak jadi orng yg nyanyi lagu tu pastu perasan awek die warisan wanita terakhir ... crap .... hahahaha... mekeke .....lu orng kena dengar album die duh .... bukan satu lagu nie je best ... bnayak lagi ... try la cari lagu "Malas" .... the man beb lagu nie... Maman penyanyi band nie plak buat solo ... tapi still best duh ... kalau tak percaya lu dengar soundtrack "Layar Lara" ... pelik music mamat nie ... tapi cun beb.....

1: Boys & Girls 1 +1 = 3 .... // nie bukan band ... nie album ... first english album menang kat AIM kut....... gua tak sure sangat pasal tu ... yg confirm gile .... mostly bebudak 77 to 81 confirm pernah dengar album nie ... album nie change most of our life ... poyo gile ... tapi serius the man gile album nie ... Nice Stupid Playground, OAG, Broadwyn, Nita an Intoxicated.... time nie Nita cun gile ... skrng dah tak dah ... dammnnnnnn .... mane nak cari album nie balik ? .....

Belief

i believe:

• that human is human, they cheat and lie, they do bad thing, they do good thing,they get jealous, they pretend thing are ok when they not, it a normal thing...


• that there no such thing as a bad or good person, it just how society perceive it...


• that all politician are corrupt and cannot be trust motherfucker...


• that everyone are hypocrite ...


• that everybody judge everbody // those who think they dont jugde... i give you my jari hantu...


• that you cannot put your trust on someone... sooner or later they will fucking disappointed you...


• in lie ... because that what make you normal...and if you good at it will make you somehow succesfull...


• in honesty... although it might hurt but it is better to know than not knowing at all...


• that opinion is good... but for me opinion is like and asshole, everybody have one..


• that there are 3 sides for every story.... the winner's , the loser's and your interpretation of that story...


• that hope is fucking evil... hope is the denial of reality...hope is the first step on the road to disappointment... but sometime hope does gave us a belief that something better out there...


• that everbody have a dirty little secret... and if the secret is no longer a secret .... definitely you treat him differently....


• that knowledge is king... and if you have strengh and charisma... you'll for sure can rule the fucking world...


• that there must be something suspicious if someone does have any enemy and all people seem to like him/her....


• that life's too fucking short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who's got an idea how i ought to be...


• that everybody at least has a chance to be awesome, either you have a ball to do it or you to pussy to cash in...


• that friendship is overrated, we are brainwash by the movies and series that revolve around the meaning of friendship. there is no FRANCE (friendship remain and never can end), there is no "I'll be there for you shit", it just a couple of people that you feel comfortable to hang out with. friendship in movies is like a mythical creature, like unicorn, where there is no evident such creature exist....


• that money contibute to happiness.... i loathe people who believe "that money cant buy happiness, love is everthing" mentality... try having 10 kids and not have the money .... all those love can buy you food? ... fuckface....


• that you not innocence after you turn 13 .... you have to know all the freaky stuff... if you dont, either you stupid or ignorant...


• that people who talk to their pets are either lonely, have some weird imagination or have to much love.....


• that life's disappointments are harder to take when you dont know any swear words....


• in ghost and alien but i dont believe in bomoh...


• that being alone is cool to a certain extend... you need some alone time to work shit out...


• that mostly everyone had a "slap in the face" moment...


• that smoking cigarette will boost your coolness level to a power of 10... having a cancer stick between your finger while blowing a smoke from your mouth was so freaking cool...


• that the phrase "I'd like that" will lead to heartbroken or euphoria...


• everyone either still searching or have found their "slutty pumpkin"...


• that rules are for nice little people....


• that questions i know the answers to i dont need to ask, right?..

cynical?

Mistake

mistakes are avoidable error.....

there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake.... but you don't really know it's a mistake..... because the only way to know that it really is a mistake..... is to make that mistake and go, "dude, that was a mistake"...... so really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake..... because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.

here's the thing about mistakes...... sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway......

//still dont have the ball to make this mistake ...

Bold

how does circumstance..... seems to fucked up every chance at living the truth in our heart... it seems the best laid plans fall just outside our hands...... and leave us broken down and far apart... but if faith play a role we know that someday what we want for ourselves in our lives, our hopes, our expectations, our plans will at least come true ... not all of it but some ... so just do it ... there are many things we afraid and dont understand... and we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have ...... and maybe this time fates will be kind to us......

i never knew the difference between bullshit or sincere, as long it sounded good while coming out

Friday

sebab ape aku suka ari jumaat....

• boleh gi office lewat gile .... //lewat disini adelah dlm pukui 1030 ke atas
• boleh chill out kat office tanpa mebuat ape2
• boleh baca manga kat net sebab die dah update.....
• boleh balik awal tak pun lewat ..... tak kisah pasai dah tahu esok tak kerja
• bile balik rumah .... dah bersih .... ade orng tolong bersihkan.... thank you
• ari jumaat kasi hope yg weekend adelah weekend best gile .... // selalu nye tak a...
• start weekend... // 2 ari untuk tido lame gile .... dan takde orng call tanye pergi kerja tak ari ni
• etc etc....

weekends dont count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless

happy weekends

Aqua vitae

Fuck ... bodo gile last post aku tu .. tah ape2 aku tulis .... tapi aku malas la pulak nak delete .... bangang gile ... sebab nanti aku ingat how fucked up i was that night ..... cun2....

last post ....
gile attention whore abis post aku tu ...
fuck duh .....

To aqua vitae: the cause of --- and solution to --- all of life's problems.

Decision

today i mafde my descison that will affect my future....... it a first to me since idont make thast desicion often.... dont get me wrong ilikr it .... rephrase i love it ..... because ive been thinkong about this for a long time.... it suppose to be great but..... i dont know .... i had this feeling about my decision ... it dont seem rihgt.... it suppose to make me happy ...but it does the opposite.... i dont know why..... but i think it willl be a mistake.... it will cause aporblem..... maybe im scared...or maybe it about a comittment..... i do suck at commitment....fuck this shit....5this thing hount me ...for the past weeks... cibai ...crap sduh .....im not taht good with this kind of problem ... i udont face it ..... i run from a problem.... and those little tiny thing that used dont matter to me ...... now becomke a huge problem..... im really suck at this...hope the desicion i made on the afternoon either it become a right one ......or it will become some mistake taht in the future i will have a laugh with someone..... crap ... what im bvitching bout .. im sounding like i have avagina.... hahahaah ...... this is what u get ...when u have .....a ciuple of shot and 2 mug of a beerr........ hope i forget all this shit tomorrow .... cause people ssaid that alcohol do make thing f]goes away ......


// pardon the spelling and everthing......... i was under influence when i wrote this ..... cheeersa