Soalan

beb ape maksud org tu bila die tanya "lu kerja mane?"...
die tanye office lu kat mane ke...
atau die tanye name company lu ape...
confius beb....
gua asyik bagi jawapan silap je....
ade tak jawapan default yg bleh jawap soalan nie...

Ramadan

yeah im weak ... nothing new eh...same story different chapter....crap...
selamat berpuasa bitches!!!

Panacea

i wanted a perfect ending....now ive learned....the hard way....that some songs dont rhyme...and some stories dont have a clear beginning....middle....and end.....life is about not knowing....having to change.....taking the moment and making the best of it.....without knowing whats going to happen next.....delicious ambiguity...we are 12 billion light years from the edge.....thats a guess ...no one can ever say its true....but i know that i will never be a mere memory...

Eleven urgh

its all well and good to talk about happy endings....
but if a person cant deliver.....if she keeps screwing up....
well....
eventually i guess you kinda just have to say fuck you.....
or words to that effect....
squaring the circle my friend....
squaring the circle....

All hope is gone

there are various reason why an individual might habitually consume large quantities of alcohol.... but they all effectively boil down to same thing...
it almost 5 in the morning....it been a long day....the elevators are out of service.... so i had to climb the staircase... i dont know... it like hundred of steps.... i live in the eleventh floor for god sake.... im not counting... even though i try...i wont remember it anyway....my head blank from the whiskey...my mouth reeking from cigarettes.... drunk as i get.... im amazed myself for i can climb those step back to my apartment through the whiskey fog....a simple achievement...one has only to accept the fact of being drunk at the face value....no ifs ... ands... buts....only the statement i am drunk plain and simple...
the hallway was a dead silent...more silent than it suppose to be.... thats when i noticed the red pumps at my feet.... red pumps ive seen before...
she was slumped over the dining table....forehead on her arms....profile hidden by straight black hair...a patch of untanned white neckline showed between the strands of hair through the open sleeve of her print dress... one ive seen before... a glimpse of a brassiere strap....looking at her back called up memories...memories of time before ive met her...
"well then" ...i said to her...
as expected ...there were no reply...she should been asleep... should have been crying... or even worse dead...i sat down opposite her and rubbed my eyes...im still not sure...is this a hallucination....or real....maybe my eyes try to cheat me... projecting something that on my head try to make it real....
"want some coffee?" ...i asked her...still no reply....so i make 2 cups of instant coffee...while doing that i asked her again ....
"been here since last night?" ....an ever so slight nod of her head...this might be real... it not a figment of my imagination...to make sure i asked again...
"youve been waiting all this time?" ....no answer....the instant coffee are ready....so i set the 2 mugs on the table...
"drink" ...i said...try to start a conversation while being cool at the same time....still silence...
"be better if you drink something" ....
it was thirty seconds before she raised her head slowly.....evently....and gazed absently at the picture hanging on the wall....a few strands of hair lay plastered againt her dampened cheeks....an aura of wetness about her....
"dont mind me" ... she said...
"i didnt mean to cry" ....i held abox of tissues to her....she quietly blew her nose... and then brushed the hair from the cheek....
"actually... i planned on being gone by the time you returned....i didnt want to see you" .....
"but you changed your mind... i see" ...never been in this situation before...so i try to keep my cool...i lit 2 cigarettes....1 for me and another to her....
"i went to a funeral...when it was over...i went to bar" ...
"you dont need to explain anything to me" ...she said...
"im out of the picture already" .....
"im not explaining....im just making a conversation" ...
she shrugged and pushed her brassiere strap back inside her dress...her face has no expression...she asked me if the deceased is someone she knew....i told her that the dead is an acquaintance of sorts from years back....
"female" ...she asked again....
"ya" ...is my answer to that question...she pursed her lips...and then she relaxed...
she take another cigarette and lit it....she inhaled and spat out the smoke....3 times in rapid succession....she drank her coffee....after a while looked me in the face...
"tell me...if i died....would you go out drinking like that?" ... a pensive 60 seconds went by....
"maybe" ...that all i can say to her....honestly i didnt know how to react to that question....another 60 seconds went by....she finished her cigarette and her coffee....
"maybe it good enough for me" ....she packed her things....and before she go out the door she said...
"youre probably right" ....she toying with the lighter that i gave her...
"i come here to talk thing through...but i guess that not the point right now....is it?...i know well enough myself" ......
among the women a man meets in his life...there are only three who have real meaning for him....no more....no less....

Bad luck, blue eyes, goodbye

well....you shouldve called....i wouldnt have answered.....but you couldve text a message...which i wouldve quickly erased....

What make us different

berita sudah habis
18 ekor rimau
3 kupu kupu
bunga melati, abu, si matahari
masalah
nekad
obsessi
mencari 250 atau 350
niat sungguh suci
tapi
kesalahan yang dicipta
hati merah patah
itulah risiko
itulah beban
cuma
pengajaran belum di terima
yang normal
belum pasti mengerti
belum pasti menghargai
masih kabur
masih mentah
hati berdarah
jiwa berkecai
hanya mampu menilai
di waktu ini
di bawah pengaruh
masih kacau
2 pagi
mabuk lagi
tak akan ingat semua
bunga melati, abu, si matahari
teman sepi

STFU

why dont you go into the kitchen...and open the fridge....look in the back....all the way back....theres a can of coke...cold chillin....i want you to reach back there and take it...open it up and take a nice long drink....mmm...was good....wasnt it?...now i want you to look at the can and make sure its a 350ml can.....of Shut The Fuck Up.....

If you see kay

if you see kay...
you...
tell him he may...
you such a beach..
you...
see you and tea...
tell him from me...

it