The day After

to say that i am glad that what happened has happened would be a fucking lie.... at this moment i have yet to understand what the universe was trying to teach me by having you in my life... i hope that answer comes to me soon....someone i have known during this time has told me you'll never know if you dont step forward to find out... and i let my expectations get the better of me....i came away empty-handed.... you'll enjoy your beaches and your coffee... you'll clear your mind and fill your lungs with the air of this different place.... and i will remain here.. sight and thoughts clouded by rejection... misunderstanding... struggling to breathe against the crushing weight of my own self-judgement...it wasnt the flames of an overzealous passion that burned me... it was a jolt from something i knew i shouldnt have touched--should have gone with that gut-feeling of ''leave it alone... it does no good to you...."but like everyone said... even my own conscience... i wouldnt have known....it seemed there was no reason that i thought "WTF?" when i looked at you and as though it was only natural that everything that would ever happened... indeed happened.... a very apt description....this is exactly what my life is?.... in the best way possible?...